Top 12 Better Batman Choices

Greetings, readers, and thank you for looking at this issue of Dustin's Dirty Dozen. It has recently come to my attention that the upcoming "Batman/Superman" movie will star Ben Affleck as Bruce Wayne. I have nothing wrong with Ben Affleck as an actor, but he has already proven to me and the rest of the world that he can't play a dark, brooding character when he tried to play Daredevil. Other than that movie and Gigli, his track record is pretty much spotless. So I thought I would humor the bulk of my readers and fan the flames of this already large fire by making my list of top 12 better Batman choices. A lot of these choices are going to be based around an actor's ability to go from zero to flip shit in a short amount of time or just their ability to be a chameleon. The body archetype for a Batman role is pretty easy to fill. Be anywhere from 5'4 to 6'5, defined and not bulky big (so that cuts out Dwayne Johnson), and be attractive to at least a select audience. Age doesn't really play too much of a hand in my decision. So lets get this blaze rolling through the trees and make ourselves a forest fire.

12) Viggo Mortensen

Ok, so he's 54 years old; the man can act. The main reason he is on this list is for his role in "A History of Violence", he played troubled soul alongside double-life ass kicker very well, which is pretty much Batman/Bruce Wayne. If you look at the man's filmography, even aside from playing Aragorn, they are all different in some way and he always plays them differently. You have protective father/dark, seen-too-much-stuff guy in The Road. You have a caring, nurturing, horse owner in Hidalgo. Every Character he plays is somewhat different which makes him a chameleon. In fact the only reason he is so high up on the list is because of his age. Age doesn't play much of a hand in the decision process, but it is still a common deterrent.    

11) Tom Cruise

Hey this guy is 51; at least we are heading in the right direction, right? Plus, he already plays a guy that can go from zero to flip shit in a matter of seconds by being Tom Cruise. Seriously, though, say what you want about the man's personal life but his talent speaks for itself. Never plays the same character twice unless he has to do a sequel. Has only done a couple of bad movies and even though they were bad he was still good in them. Ethan Hunt, Stacee Jaxx, Colonel Claus von Stauffenberg, Jerry McGuire, and Maverick are all completely separate characters played masterfully by Tom Cruise. Now I think he can dawn the cape and cowl of Batman just to have that one movie to set him over the top. If the aliens can make me act like this guy I will let them beam me up willingly.

10) Colin Farrell

AHA! 37 perfect age.This guy has run into a string of horrible luck with movies and with the frequency that they have come out it can make people think that he is not good even though he is phenomenal. You take movies like "In Bruges" or "Seven Psychopaths" that weren't advertised that well and turn out to be good. You take movies like "Total Recall", "Miami Vice", "Daredevil", "The New World" or "Alexander" that were advertised all over but were shit. Then people start getting a misconception about what you can do and take the movie "Fright Night" to be shitty even though it was pretty good. He can play a Batman/Bruce Wayne, because even though that movie is probably going to be horrible he needs the chance to make it better.  

9) Aaron Eckhart

Whoops! 45 years old went back up again. Oh well, I bet you already know the biggest reason he is on this list. If you can play two face the way this guy played two face you can play anything. He doesn't necessarily have a spotless track record on the movies he has played in but just like every good actor he does the best with what he can. From playing the president in "Olympus has Fallen" to playing a Staff Seargent in "Battle Los Angeles". From a fast talking business associate in "Thank You for Smoking" to Two Face in "The Dark Knight," the man has paid enough dues that he deserves the chance to play almost the exact opposite of Two Face by playing Batman/Bruce Wayne. 

8) Clive Owen

Damnit all! 48 years old I went up again. He does not look it, especially when he was in "The Intruders" or "Killer Elite." The main reason he is on this list though is for his role in "Shoot 'Em Up" playing a calm, cool and collected killer that can seriously mess your world up. Correct me if I am wrong, but I viewed that movie as a satire on Shoot 'em Up movies. So that means that he can play comedy along with action, drama and Horror. A jack of all trades and king of none. The only reason he is not a king of all is because of who is at the number 2 spot on the list. I don't think anyone is dethroning that guy anytime soon.

7) Micheal Fassbender

Alright 36 years old back on track. Yes, Magneto himself has made the list. Besides playing an amazing young Magneto, he is totally warranted for being on this list. He gets type cast as the villain probably because of his menacing way like in "Prometheus" but still plays a decent hero like in "300" or "Inglorious Basterds." He just needs a role that can show him as a little bit of both, and Batman/Bruce Wayne would be perfect. I can just imagine him trying to mask his voice, and already that makes him better than Christian Bale. At least from my imagination.

6) Brad Pitt

49 years old and were back up like the stock market. Brad Pitt hasn't done a bad movie that I can think of yet, so unlike most of the actors on this list his record is unblemished. Even "Mr. and Mrs Smith" was pretty decent for what it was. In every way conceivable he is amazing in anything that touches him and everything that touches him is different. "Troy," "Fight Club," "Snatch," "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button," "Inglorious Basterds," "Seven," the list does go on from there, but I am going to try not to ramble. The point is from "Fight Club," I know he can go from zero to flip shit in the blink of an eye and from all of his works combined I know he can basically play any role and fit that role.

5) Eric Bana

At 45 years old it looks like the stock took another hit. Eric Bana needs a chance to redeem himself to the comic book world for "Hulk". It has been long enough I think that he deserves a second shot, and he is just the right build for Batman. If you look at his other movies, he steals any scene he is acting in. Whether he is in "Black Hawk Down" saying "This is my safety" or "Star Trek" yelling "Fire everything!" at the top of his lungs, he is a terrific albeit under sung actor. I believe that he would prowl the rooftops of Gotham even better than when he protected the streets of Troy.

4) Robert Downey Jr.

48 years old, in all honesty, I could have called that. Let's get the obvious out of the way. Of course I know Iron Man and Batman for all intents and purposes are two completely different people. Now that it's said, Robert Downey Jr. has proved to us that he can play a drunk billionaire playboy which is what Bruce Wayne's character is trying to be. In complete reality, the character of Batman is all about "inception" as an actor; you have to be a dark past vigilante who acts like a brat when out of costume, but only when in the presence of people that don't already know your secret identity. In a sense you have to be three different people; the playboy, Batman when talking to loved ones, and Batman when fighting crime. That would be a taxing job on any actor but a challenge that I think Robert Downey Jr. is ready and raring to meet. If he hit the gym and aged back 10 years I would say he might very well be my number one.

3) Bradley Cooper

38 years old right back to the perfect zone of age. This guy has come out of completely the left field. I couldn't have called him being as absolutely amazing as he has become, and I think it is about time that he gets his big budget blockbuster. I know he is rumored to be doing the voice of Rocket Raccoon in the upcoming "Guardians of the Galaxy" movie, but only a couple of actors ever really get remembered for voice work by the general public. I know this guy can go from zero to Nucking Futs quickly all because of... actually everything that he has been in aside from "The Hangover" and "The A-Team." "Silver Linings Playbook" is really the best example. In the movie, if he would have been more suave in points, you could have put pointy ears on him and I would have said Batman.

2) Leonardo Di Caprio

Yes, 38 years old didn't lose it. Did you know that in his role of "Django Unchained" during the scene where he broke the skull, Leonardo DiCaprio actually cut his hand wide open. The rest of the actors were a little nervous and looking towards Quentin Tarantino for what to do but Leo did not miss a beat in the scene. Quentin Tarantino ended up using that scene in the final cut of the film. Just proving that Leo is crazily dedicated to his craft. I know that if he were to hurt himself in a scene of a Batman movie (let's say fall harder than expected from a set piece) that he wouldn't let that effect his performance. Besides his dedication, the man is a genius when it comes to acting that (at the risk of jumping on another bandwagon) the academy has foolishly refused to recognize. This is Bruce Wayne; this is Batman; hell, he is probably Jesus Christ if Mel Gibson wanted him to be.

1) A no name

Here is a fun game. Take a shot every time I use the word predisposition in my reasoning for the number 1.

Do you want to know why some of the actors mentioned so far, or the honorable mention below, or Ben Affleck, sound like horrible ideas? It is because we have seen these men in enough movies that we have formed a predisposition of what to expect from them. We assume that they are going to act one way or the other, because of what we have seen from them before, and don't give them the opportunity to show us otherwise. Whether we like it or not, these predispositions will follow us into the theater and ultimately effect our opinion. I am guilty of this as well, of course, because at first I don't see Ben Affleck as a good Batman, but if I get right down to it I don't see anyone else either. Batman is such an iconic character that his shoes have become almost impossible to fill if you have a history. While the age, build, or look of a no name will still haunt him while he is portraying the role, he doesn't have the personality predisposition that all of the others have. We can look at them with fresh eyes and make an opinion based solely on their performance. I know that all of these actors have paid enough dues to have earned a position for a character of this magnitude, but I also feel that an iconic role can be a due in and of itself. If you don't believe anything I just said, let's look at Christian Bale. Before Batman he was basically a no name only doing minor roles, and the starring roles he was in were cult classics or indie. Now people know him as Batman, my own opinion on his talents withstanding. He owns that title forever in the eyes of the general public which you can take as a good thing or a bad thing. So let's give an up-and-comer a shot. Plus, if the guy sucks, the box office would probably be big enough that we would never have to hear from him again since he will be too busy burning cigars with hundred dollar bills.

HM)Will Smith

I will give a director all the credit in the world if he were to play around with the ethnic background of Batman. That is really the only way that I could see this character revitalized in a fresh light. Nothing says that a black Batman would be any worse than a white one, plus it would open so many more doors for them to go through story-line wise. Will Smith could play anything (given he has the option of crying during the role) and Batman is no different.

Next time on Dustin's Dirty Dozen: The beginning of animation month, hitting the ground running again with Top 12 Disney Hand Drawn Animated Movies.

Top 12 movies that should have stopped at one

Greetings, again loyal readers; Dustin here giving you his Dirty Dozen movies that should have stopped at one. The criticism I received on my last post has been applied to this new format; now I have a brilliant editor making sure I don't send a list filled with mistakes, and have narrowed the topic to my top twelve. Any further criticisms, comments, or questions on this new post, please feel free to put in the comments block of the Facebook status that this blog has been attached to. So without further ado, lets get to it...

12) The Pirates of the Caribbean

I know that this movie series has even made it to the list is enough to make all the rabid Disney fanatics reading this hang me up by my boot straps to a Mickey Mouse shaped plaque but here it is. The reason that this is so high on the list is because I actually didn't mind the sequel that much, and I tolerated the third. Let's just all agree to disagree on the fourth. You are going to hear me say the phrase "open ended" a lot during this list and the first "Pirates" movie is a perfect example of an open-ended finale. You leave Jack Sparrow in charge of the Pearl, once again, off to go on another adventure probably involving cannons and sword fights; you leave Will Turner and Elizabeth Swan caught in each other's embrace finally ending up together, probably to get married and have kids or something along those lines. I didn't need the meeting of Bootstrap Bill Turner, I didn't need to see the actual marriage and I didn't need another three movies centered all around Johnny Depp. I was content with the first movie ending and never having to hear another word from them. So what happened? The fans. The fans clamored for sequels, and now here we are looking down the barrel of a fifth "Pirates" movie. You all better believe that if Hollywood can bleed a nickel out of a series, they will bleed it dry. So here's to "The Pirates of the Caribbean" series for bleeding all of us dry and boring me to tears.

11) Child's Play

You won't see "Nightmare on Elm Street," "Friday the Thirteenth," or "Halloween" on this list because I actually was thoroughly entertained by a couple of the sequels. I don't think that there was a need for quite so many, but the "Child's Play" series didn't even need one. The first movie was frightening and kept me awake at night not trusting any of my action figures; all of the sequels had me pushing my action figures around trying to pick a fight. I don't think that the movies were ever supposed to be taken that seriously but at least the first one tried to mix in some genuinely horrifying sequences along with its tongue-in-cheek comedy. The first two sequels just rinsed and repeated the first; and the last two sequels just focused on comedy. I didn't need to see what happened to the little kid that was terrorized by Chucky in the first one, nor did I need to see Chucky trying to make mainstream jokes while running celebrities off the road. So let's all hope that the remake for the original coming out in 2014 brings the series back to its frightening roots and makes us forget all about John Waters agreeing to sign on to the piece of garbage that was Seed of Chucky.

10) Jurassic Park

The first Jurassic Park was, in a word, iconic. From the exquisite acting by Sam Neill and Jeff Goldblum to the masterful scores composed by John Williams, I don't think there were a whole lot of people that weren't fans when this movie came out.  So why was there ever a sequel to the first movie? Oh I know what made it happen! Dr. Alan Grant looking out the window of the escaping helicopter to find the pterodactyls flying off the island along side them. I had no need for them to continue on to make "Jurrassic Park 2: Dinosaurs take San Diego," where the only forgivable part of that movie was Jeff Goldblum. I was equally in no rush to see "Jurassic Park 3: Yet Another Island," where there were no forgivable points. You know while I was writing this I put "with no more sequels in the foreseeable future" thinking that there is no way that they could make a fourth installment with how horrible the third was and not hearing anything from the mainstream media on them making a fourth installment. I humored myself to make sure I was accurate and googled "Jurrassic Park 4" and sure enough there it was. Silly me, when has a series being long past dead ever stopped people from making sequels to it. So with the forth installment scheduled to come out in 2015 per the Internet Movie Database, here we are again; looking at dinosaurs trying to eat people. Please hold your breath. 

9) Gremlins

The first Gremlins was a new, refreshing idea about the dangers of owning exotic pets and how they can never truly be tamed. Also, the consequences of not taking proper care of pets. A comedy/horror that crept its way into my heart as a child and made me unable to watch anything else for a week straight. The Gremlins 2 just happened to take the original idea and smear it into the pavement while it makes tiny, mogwai screams of pain. Let us get the obvious out of the way; just because you have people beating down the door for women's rights does not mean you need to make a female Gremlin. It was awkward, confusing and completely unnecessary due to the mogwai's ability to reproduce asexually by adding water. I have no disrespect for more females (protagonist/antagonist) in cinema when it makes sense, but this time it didn't. Aside from that, the plot was missing, Zach Galligan is still an atrocious actor; the ending of the original didn't even leave much of an opening for a sequel; and New York should not be made the "go-to" city for shitty sequels. Yet with all these faults, fans are still clamoring up to director Joe Dante for a third. Let me remind you that this guy's only other notable good work besides the original Gremlins was The 'Burbs and Small Soldiers. Besides those three movies, he has given us a ton of TV movies and 1978's Piranha. So who is looking forward to another Gremlins? 

8) Resident Evil

"Resident Evil" was a controversial success due to the picky fan base of the game it was based on, but had me content with saying I was a fan of the movie. Now, if I were still a fan of the franchise I would be embarrassed. All it did after the first installment was try to appeal more and more to the unreasonable fan base of the games by putting memorable characters like Nemesis and Wesker in them. I don't exactly know why they keep making these movies, it doesn't seem like they are doing well in the box office anymore, and the fan base of the games is just writing them off as a fluke of Hollywood, unable to get video games or the people that play them. The storyline keeps getting convoluted, they keep revisiting old characters because the actors that play them can't get work anywhere else, and for some reason just can't seem to not put Milla Jovovich in a movie not wearing something skin tight. With a sixth installment coming up in 2014, maybe the film company is finally going to be able to lay this series to rest...but probably not.

7) Scream

"Scream" was a movie originally created as a spoof on horror, slasher movies. The concept was original; Matthew Lillard was amazing; Courtney Cox found work along side her now ex-husband away from "Friends"; and it gave us a chance to see Henry Winkler die at the end of a knife. This movie also forever changed the face of Halloween, making it so that even people on a budget were able to participate, aside from ruining a perfectly good set of sheets by putting holes in them. The second and third were more of the same, except for the message of the first being lost somewhere in the shuffle, and making it more about the cheap scare tactics that the original was making fun of. The forth had me pretty excited to see what they would do with the new rules, since the horror genre was almost completely different from when the first came out. When I saw it, all "Scream 4" did was teach me the value of not getting my hopes up. The best I could say about it was Hayden Panettiere saying the names of every horror movie that had been remade up until that point was kind of funny. Of course, they are talking about a fifth; no need to really go into it anymore than that, since they already bastardized an original concept so much.

6) The Hangover

"The Hangover" was an instant classic in the archives of comedic movies. It gave us some unforgettable lines and gave the stars a chance to become A-List, which Bradley Cooper seems to be taking the idea and running with. Of course, if this list has taught us anything thus far, it is that nothing in the film industry could be sacred enough to not make a sequel out of it. All I needed was seeing the pictures rolling across the phone, Doug getting married, Stu dumping the horrible almost fiance and I was good after that. The second movie just gave us another version of the first movie, and the third only had the big twist of the gang actually not being hungover. How many times can people make the same mistake anyway? While I was glad to see that they actually learned their lesson from the first two movies, I just could not get into any part of the third. At least this series might actually get away with a sliver of dignity by its main actors not wanting any part of a fourth if it were to happen, which seems unlikely.

5) American Pie

"American Pie" was a movie coming out in the age of too many high school based movies, and set itself apart by being absolutely amazing and funny. It showed us all actors like Jason Biggs, Alyson Hannigan and Sean William Scott back in their heyday. After "American Pie", Sean William Scott got to create a somewhat career by making himself the comic relief in movies like "The Rundown" and "Evolution", or acting in comedies like the "Dukes of Hazard" along side Johnny Knoxville. Alyson Hannigan is currently in one of the biggest series out right now with "How I Met Your Mother", and Jason Biggs got to make love to a pie. You see what I did there with the actors? I told you what they were up to since the movie aired using a couple of sentences which used to be a time honored tradition of movies like this. Putting some "now-a-days" photos up and captions next to them telling you what eventually became of the characters. Another way would have been slowly moving across each characters face while they are laughing or something along those lines with the voice of the main character from the film saying what eventually became of them all. Instead of doing that, they made American Pie 2, Wedding, and Reunion, which was basically all the movies equated to for me. I won't go into the straight to DVD American Pies, as I never saw them. I like to at least try not wasting my time or seeing a great actor like Eugene Levy reduced to being the star power of straight to DVD movies.

4) The Matrix

"The Matrix" took the fears of Y2K to a new level by showing a machine induced apocalypse like "The Terminator" and making it completely different. Human beings being reduced to nothing more than power for the machines to live after we blocked the sun, the world as we know it being a computer program, you being able to download any necessary skills for a mission. All of these ideas were new and inspiring. However, this series is a prime example of the points I have made through out this list coming to a screeching collision. Open ended finales, creators trying to bleed an original concept dry of any further originality, the fan base clamoring for sequels only to not be prepared for the outcome and great actors like Hugo Weaving or Laurence Fishburne being forced into shitty sequels.We leave the first movie with Neo flying off screen to stop the machines, and leave the third movie with a confusing conclusion that spat on the plot of the original. At the end of the third movie I couldn't count all of the inconsistencies, and now that it is ten years later, I haven't come any closer to an actual number. So, thank you, "The Matrix" for giving me an awesome movie in 1999 please don't do me anymore favors from now on.

3) The Fast and The Furious

Hey! Who says Vin Diesel Can't get work these days? I mean he has movies coming out like Riddick, The Fast and the Furious 7 and XXX; The Return of Xander Cage. This guy has work for years! Unfortunately. Yes this is the one movie on the list that actually ended with hints of a sequel and wasn't open ended. They just should have left it alone. Killed it before it grew too much like it is doing now. I think any series that goes past three should just stop but this is a movie that should have stopped at one and that is only if you were actually into street racing. If you weren't, it should have stopped at zero. I just don't know how many more A-list celebrities that this series can take down with them. First they take Dwayne Johnson and now they take Jason Statham, which I can only guess is because he has grown tired of being a Billy Bad-Ass only to go into this movie as a vengeful Billy Bad-Ass. My remaining hope for this series is that after this seventh installment they will be done, but I have been let down before.

2) Saw

Torture. That's what the original "Saw" got turned into, a movie about torture. Not a movie that actually surprised you with the ending, not a game for your life, and surely not an original thriller. Just torture. Giving whole new meaning to the genre by both torturing the characters in the movie and the audience watching it. I would have thought after a while that these movies would have run out of ideas on how to kill people, which eventually they did, but that didn't stop them from making more movies. I guess they were trying to tie up all the loose ends of a story line that had gone way past not making any sense. The only other reason for them making seven of these movies would be to try and top themselves over and over again by seeing just how much they can gross out the audience. Not enough of a reason for me having to sit through every one of these pieces of filth, but just enough of a reason for it to be placed second on this list. 

1) The Boondock Saints

October 30th, 2009 a day that will live in infamy. It marked the most let down I have been at a movie since "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull" came out May 22nd, 2008 or when "Star Wars: Episode 1 - The Phantom Menace" came out May 19th, 1999. It was the day "The Boondock Saints 2: All Saints Day" came out to limited screens. I tried very hard to like this movie, kind of like I did with the aforementioned films, but every time I watched it I got more upset. They took an incredulous look at the lives of vigilantes and turned it into a buddy cop film. They took a movie about two brothers trying to clean up a world that they have grown disgusted with and turned it into a family trying to clear their name. They took an Italian and turned him into a Mexican. They completely undid the first movie in one fell swoop.  They tried to appeal to the fans by making a bunch of "hey, you remember this" moments and ended up making it seem like they were placating us. It got so bad that I just couldn't believe the ending when they got sent to jail, since it seemed that they had every cop in their pocket. Please Troy Duffy, don't make anymore I can live the rest of my life knowing that they just got thrown in Jail. I don't care what Willem Dafoe has planned for getting them out. Just leave one of my favorite movies to rest.

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Honorable mention

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HM) Final Destination

The only reason this didn't make my list was because I was actually just as entertained by the first movie as I was the second and third. The reason being, that the initial catastrophic accident that started the whole chain of events in the film was actually a common fear and reasonably plausible. I kept getting what I came for in each one of the three. The forth and fifth are when it seemed to lose speed for me. They weren't making it believable anymore. If I ever do a list for movies that should have stopped at a trilogy this will definitely be on there along with the two aforementioned movie series in my number one.

Next Time on Dustin's Dirty Dozen : Top 12 better Batman choices. Yes, I am equally if not more pissed off about the choice for Bruce Wayne in the upcoming "Superman/Batman" film and will tell you my thoughts on who would be better.

 

Top 12 Deaths

Warning : This blog is going to contain spoilers for all the listed movies and T.V. Shows.

Hello, loyal readers and friends. Dustin Anderson here giving you his Dirty Dozen Death Scenes in films and T.V. Shows. This will be my first blog of Dustin's Dirty Dozen and I wanted to hit the ground running with a topic that should spark a lot of controversy between you all like who should be on this list at all, order or what have you. My hope is take this to a video format since I know how much people seem to hate reading. However, until that time I will be posting one of these every three days. Thank the military for that schedule. I hope you all enjoy and please post any comments, questions, criticism in the comments section of the Facebook status this will be posted on. Thank you.

12) Obi-Wan Kenobi Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope

Yes, before this starts of course I am huge fan of Star Wars, as should be every red blooded American for this is one of the most, if not the most powerful series in the movie industry to this day. If you disagree please remember that you are talking to a fan boy so realize that most of my arguments are going to be diluted with idolization and incoherent points. As for why he deserves to be on this list, ask any real Star Wars fan the death he/she remember's more than any and the top three will be Obi, The Emperor and Greedo. The reason Greedo is among them is the very reason why he is not included in this list, people only remember his death from George Lucas messing with the original formula and making him shoot first instead of Han Solo. Not good enough to be up here. Now, it actually was hard for me to choose between the Emperor and Obi. Each one of the deaths almost make just as much of an impact on the audience as the other and being as how I was unfortunately not born early enough to see the original trilogy in theaters and gauge the viewers reaction to each death I had to make the decision based on logic and how I felt about them. You know, like I was a critic or something. Obi wins because although Emperor Palpatine's death signifies Darth Vader's breaking away from the dark side's control Obi's just seemed more about sacrifice. I know Vader sacrificed himself to save his son, in the end, but think about this with the context of the new prequel trilogy (which I try to refrain from doing as much as possible). As Obi-Wan, you are fighting a battle against your Padawan that you have already fought twenty or so years before and won. By all accounts this guy should be dead. You are old, tired and there is this new, young upstart Jedi, the son of the very Padawan that you defeated and he brings with him a new hope (yeah, that's the reason for the title). So being old and feeble you do the only thing you can do to be of any use and die, making sure this boy sees it. You forfeit and allow yourself to die giving the boy the drive to become a jedi and take down the dark side and the empire. Pretty messed up right? Well, that's what a good death is sometimes comprised of. Sacrifice and being monumentally important to the story.

11) Tommy Williams The Shawshank Redemption

Another extremely difficult choice between Tommy Williams and Brooks Hatlen but again I am going to invoke my inner critic and go with what he tells me. With Brooks' death came the message of adjusting to life outside of prison and what tends to happen more often than not when you fail to. A good message but Tommy's death was just a great deal more powerful. The message from his death that I got was that doing the right thing does not always pay off as you think it would. A very dark and hard lesson to learn from life experiences. My first time watching this movie the anticipation up until the point he gets shot literally had me on the edge of my seat and had me cursing at my television screen when the bullet found its way home. The scene had an air of menace surrounding it, everything from Warden Norton's acting to the cinematography just hinted that something really messed up was about to happen. When it finally did I just felt so depressed thinking "Damn and things were just about to get good for poor Andy Dufresne" it actually made me depressed. It was more than just an old man finding his time at the end of a rope, it was a guy that just got his GED, had a kid and a life ahead of him that died because he wanted to do right by his mentor. The movie made me feel for this kid in the utmost way possible than took him away. Depressing, inspiring and ultimately an amazing death in cinema.

10) The Terminator Terminator 2: Judgement day

You see the picture above this text? You remember it? Yeah, that's what I thought everyone does and if you don't please come and borrow Terminator 2 from me this instant. The story of a boy and his robot or more accurately the story of a boy and his muscle bound, Austrian killing machine. John Connor befriending the very thing that was trying to kill his mother in the first movie.  If you can't get behind the love between a boy and a machine please destroy your television right now. Did you do it? If you did I send my sincerest apologies for the recent death in your family that I was indirectly the cause of. If you didn't you get my point and can see what I am talking about. Maybe that was a bad comparison since your television isn't sentient but more to the point what I got from this was a deep sense of loss. Which when it comes right down to it is what death is supposed to do. As the audience you get attached to this relationship and get to see the impact it has on the robot when he dies doing the action that he was taught by his most unexpected friend. You also see the impact it has on the troubled youth who finally got to make a friend (possible father figure) only to see him melt away into liquid, hot goo. Dynamic in its imagery and unforgettable in its delivery. Plus, as it stands right now, this is the closest that you are going to get to The Iron Giant being anywhere on this list since he doesn't really die.

9) Katsumoto The Last Samurai

Say what you want about the movie itself. Tom Cruise shouldn't be the last samurai because hes white, it puts samurai to high on a pedestal since back in that day they were actually kind of assholes, whatever. No one can deny the power behind this scene expertly delivered from Ken Watanbe. I give most of the credit of this scene to Ken and the cinematographer who must have been descended on high from some sort of pantheon of gods. It gives you Tom Cruise granting his friends last request to die by the sword. It ties in with his speech about cherry blossoms. It leads you to one of the most important lines of the movie "tell me how he died" "I will tell you how he lived." It gives the movie that much needed conclusion and turns into more than just Tom Cruise being the last samurai, making it more about the journey he took to becoming the last samurai.

8) Benjamin Buford "Bubba" Blue Forrest Gump

"I've gotta find Bubba!" dead, yup we get to find Bubba clinging on to life in a thick of pomfrons crying out for his buddy Forrest to come to him.When Forrest finds him Bubba tells him he just wants to go home and Forrest can't find the words to tell him that he won't be able to. A subject that hits Forrest so hard that he is disinclined to continue speaking about it when he regales his fellow bus patrons about his time in Vietnam. If you need a tissue I don't blame you this is a real tear jerker. You as the viewer more than likely know about Vietnam and how many soldiers were lost to it so you can expect a lot of death. However, you can't expect them killing off his best, good friend Bubba. Well maybe you could but that doesn't make it any less of an impact when you hear Bubba's weak voice calling Forrest's name from under the bush and the look of sheer dread that crosses his face when he sees him laying there knocking on death's door.

7) William Wallace Braveheart

"FREEDOM!" for everyone except the Jews right Mel? I don't care about Mel Gibson's politics really, he makes a good flick. After being betrayed by the man he put so much faith in William Wallace finds his head on the chopping block (or chopping cross) quite literally. After yelling his final word, he looks to find his friends in the crowd and past them sees his dead wife walking through the crowd and smiles knowing that he will soon be with her in the after life. The ax comes down and he drops her token of affection that he carried with him everywhere signifying his death and him now being with his beloved. Being a martyr may not be the best way to get your point across but it is definitely effective. This scene and the movie it was attached have to be Mel Gibson's best work and that is saying a lot about the movie. So, again, say what you want about the man and his personal life but leave his acting and directing out of it because this movie proves that he is more than antisemitism. Although, that may be what he is best remembered for. 

6) Samantha I am Legend

Hey, you can't have an animal on the top 12 deaths in movies and t.v. shows! Watch me. This death is one of the few that almost brought me to tears. I don't know why in my brain I find an animal's death much more depressing than a humans when I watch it on a movie but I do. Especially in this instance. For those of you that say, "What about Old Yelller?" Yes, that was also a dead dog but did Travis Coates have to strangle his dog to death and was he the only living thing in his life? Nope. I can only hope that I would never have to go through an apocalypse, see my family die right before my eyes while thinking they were about to be safely away from the madness I am to be stuck on, all to have my dog be the only living thing I can have attachment too and end up having to strangle her to death after she gets bitten by a vampire/zombie crossbreed. Just thinking about this scene should get most people choked up. While in the theater seeing this movie I got to see the look of distress on everyone's faces. Hands over there mouths or covering there eyes they felt for this dog (and for some reason there was a big gasp when they found out Sam stood for Samantha). As well they should feel for this dog she was trained, loyal and adorable. Now, excuse me while I try to stop thinking of having to strangle my own German Shepard (Eva).

5) David Del Rocco The Boondock Saints

Oh, Rocco, you crazy Italian bastard. You will be missed. Also, apparently, replaced by a Mexican in the sequel. No one likes to see good friends die and no one likes to see the comic relief of a movie die, so, Rocco hits us on two fronts. Whether it be the slow motion scene of his bloody head raising to see the man that's about to end his life or his final words to the brother's to keep doing what they are doing, this death was just too significant to put any lower on the list. Now if only we could have had the same performance from his predecessor the second movie might have actually been worth while... no not even than. 

4) Hoban "Wash" Washburne Serenity

I have often been the loudest cry for people to get into the most understated series in the world, Firefly. The brilliance of this series can't be screamed at you loud enough, even if it is about space cowboys. So when I say I can't really put into words how much Wash's death upset me please take my full meaning. If there is one thing that the incredible Joss Whedon knows more than anything it is how to make you care about a character for so long and then quickly kill him ( or her in the case of Buffy the Vampire Slayer) and watch your face twist in absolute horror. This, as is the case for most Joss Whedon's  series or movies, happens in the blink of an eye. So fast that you will probably be saying "holy shit, did Wash just die?" which I think adds to the loss. In most cases that is exactly how you are going to lose a loved one. One day you are going to be chatting with them as usual, him saying something about being a leaf and soaring, than he's gone and Joss Whedon captures it perfectly. Rest in piece you champion among pilots you are flying with the angels now.

3) The entire "Game of Thrones" series

Having a list about death in films and television and not including the series Game of Thrones has become like telling your friend about the New Testament and leaving out all the parts that have to do with Jesus. It's what you have come to expect from the series besides massive amounts of nudity and that makes it incredibly hard to limit yourself to just one death. So I pick the entire series. It has taught us a lot through these deaths. Don't trust your future in laws, don't let go your values because your head will be chopped off regardless, don't complain about getting your crown to someone who's entire occupation is war because he will give you a crown. Each scene is more traumatic than the last making you realize that getting attached to characters is probably not a great idea. In fact, let's all take a look at this series, realize that not a single person is safe and together say if Tyrion Lannister dies we will riot.

2) Colin Sullivan The Departed

And the crowd goes wild! Colin Sullivan asshole of the film finally gets his in the end. Making us realize that no evil is to go unpunished. Anyways, this movie is almost on par with the series above when it comes to death. No one was safe. Matt Damon won the prize of being the top kill for not only being a terrible prick but for his death being the most wanted of the film. Let me clarify. When I saw this movie in theaters and we saw Dignam standing there in "I'm-going-to-shoot-you gear" we were on the edge of our seats. Than when he finally put an end to this evil spawn we all clapped, this hasn't been the only movie theater cheer I have been apart of but probably the most well deserved. Besides all that Martin Scorsese can sit atop his throne of champions along side Quentin Tarantino, Steven Speilberg and Guillermo del Toro.

NOW THE MOMENT YOU HAVE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR

#1

1) Dobby Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows pt. 1

Just kidding

1) Professor Albus Dumbledore Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince

O.K. Harry Potter nerds cool your jets I didn't mean it but even if I did would you guys have minded it. Gauging all the reactions to Dobby's death in the theaters as opposed to Dumbledore's it seems like you guys would have preferred the elf. I have never heard a reaction quite like the one I heard for Dobby I know he was a bigger character in the books but he hadn't made a real appearance since the Chamber of Secrets in the movies. How attached could you really have gotten to the film version. Anyways, I digress, Dumbledore is quite possibly the most iconic death of our generation. So many spoilers came out for this before people even had the book in there hands and yet it still hit home for those who actually read it. Even if they read it years later. He was Harry's mentor, father figure, icon and friend and his death was likely to literally make the world stop where it was. An entire generation was brought back to reading from the Harry Potter series and it's author is now a billionaire (yeah, go ahead and look that up). So, when she kills off a character the audience has grown to love for years it sends a shock wave through the U.K. and the United States. And I love it. This is an author that will not pull any punches when it comes to her readership even if it does make them sad. If it is for the benefit of the story she will write it, should make Stephanie Meyer start to rethink her life decisions. The film does this scene all the justice in the world I don't care if it wasn't how you imagined it from the books it was pretty awesome to see all of the little witches and wizards standing there teary eyes and wands in the air. Kind of reminded me of a grateful dead reunion but you know I really don't care how much that made me laugh it still impressed me. So there you have it like it or not. Dumbledore is our greatest death scene of all time. The poor old bastard.

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Honorable Mention

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HM) Carlisle The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn pt. 2

I cannot tell you how much I don't care that this was not the original ending of the book. It was a superior ending and an ending that Stephanie "can't deal with death" Meyers couldn't seem to bring herself to write. I don't know if she got to attached to her own characters or was trying to think too much about her readership but this ending is forever lost to us. If this death were real it would have almost made up for the horrible plot, story telling, character development, acting, message trying to be conveyed and fans. Now, before someone tries to call me out, yes, I do like the books. I would never call me self a fan, I just sincerely didn't mind them as a time filler. For some reason I knew all the problems with the books but still ended up not minding them, even though my every instinct as a critic was telling me these books were the spawn of Satan himself. Anyways, this death would have rivaled even Dumbledore's, if anything, for its bringing an entire series around in a 180. It also would have led to the best superpower fight of all time. So, yeah, Stephanie Meyer if you ever see this please remember that this is what good writing would have looked like.